Week five. Week five, people, and there is still SO MUCH CANNON FODDER. And quite a lot of it escaped brutal death for another week while a more talented comrade fell. And now that I’ve kicked that metaphor into submission, let’s get into the detail.
Kimberley and Pasha
Quite a lot of posing and throwing the head around this week, but I still quite liked it, though this is possibly because I love Pasha enough to think everything he does is brilliant. What it did make me think, though, is this: where is this series’ really classic dance going to come from? You know, that one that makes you sit up a little bit straighter and say HANG ON THIS IS BRILLIANT and watch it back a lot and then get fed up by the time the Christmas Special is over because you’ve seen it, like, four times by now and actually now you come to think of it you never liked it that much in the first place. It’s only Week Five, so I should probably relax a bit, but this could have been super-good, and it just made me think about Matt and Flavia and Ramps and Karen (fun fact - Ramps and Karen’s salsa was week 5, so maybe it’s ok that I’m thinking about all this already) and then I felt a bit sad. But then I looked at Pasha again and I cheered right up.
Lisa and Robin
Good to see her do some ballroom, but I bloody said it would be the tango and I was totally right. Good effort, Lisa, good effort, but I wish Robin had gone a different route with this and slowed things right down for a hardcore dramatic tango, rather than this which was brightly coloured and had trumpets parping and still felt well camp. Surely a proper ballroom for Lisa next week – I hope it’s a nice gliding foxtrot or something, just to give us a week off from all this constant TA-DAHing. To be clear, I am not blaming Lisa for this. I still really like her. I just think it got one-note very quickly, and I think she’s as tired of it as I am – time for the judges to be able to talk about her dancing, not about her performing.
Richard and Erin
What’s to say, really? Major brain melt from Richard, but he just reacted in the absolute perfect way. He messed up, he knew it, he was funny about it but still looked like he cared, he didn’t cry and he didn’t beg, he just… dealt with it like a normal non-drama queen person (*cough* Matt di Angelo *cough*). If I were a voting woman (by which I mean before the final – I like to save it till it counts (as though it really ever counts)) I would have voted for him, and I have never busted out a pity vote in my life. He still wound up in the bottom two, which surprised me, but for some reason there are still enough people voting for Victoria, it turns out. Anyway, well done Richard Arnold, and I for one am glad you stayed. Something perky and cheerful for him next, I reckon, which should get him another week unless he buggers it up again. Even his charm can’t save him twice in a row.
Denise and James
It was good, there’s no doubt about that. It still managed to leave me cold, though, which I don’t really understand. I feel that, quite aside from my own personal dislike, they don’t seem to have really connected as a couple? Is that fair? Is that my imagination? Good scores, and pretty much deserved, but I still can’t get on board. By the way, did anyone watch ITT on Monday? Their behind-the-scenes stuff from the dress rehearsal had a lovely clip of James showing his true colours and snarling at Denise. It made me hate Jordan more and like Denise a bit, so IMAGINE MY JOY at the news that Jordan is injured this week and Ian Waite (HURRAH!) is taking over for the week. It will of course be doubly crushing when James comes back, but at least I can have a week off from my relentless hate. I want them to do a quickstep. I love an Ian Waite quickstep. Or a samba. I love an Ian Waite samba too. (I just love Ian Waite, let’s be honest.)
Victoria and Brendan
It was crap. It was crap AND she had a rehearsal woobie meltdown. Any normal year and she’d have been booted out unceremoniously and nobody would have missed her. She survived because we’re all still somehow hoping she’ll turn out to be good, despite all evidence to the contrary, and we’re all still a bit emosh about the Olympics, and nobody had ever heard of Colin Salmon, who never played James Bond. A pretty ballroom dance for her this week, surely. Waltz? Viennese? Or if the producers really want to bust out the big guns, an American Smooth. Otherwise, she could be toast.
Louis and Flavia
Enjoyable. And really, that’s pretty high praise for a samba on Strictly. It’s bloody hard to do, and if you don’t give it a good go, it’s deeply embarrassing both to perform and to watch (see above re Victoria). There are basically only three sambas ever on this show (that I can remember, anyway) which I have enjoyed: Ramps and Karen, Matt and Aliona, and Ian and Jade (loved her, by the way). I kind of wish Louis had got this dance later in the series, because by week 8 he would have been insanely good, instead of just enjoyable. Still the ones to beat though, no doubt about that. He is steely. Craig, incidentally, gave Louis the same score as he gave Victoria, which: WHAT?
Colin and Kristina
Oh well. They totally didn’t deserve to go home this week, but the man has no fan base, and they gave him the wrong partner, so there you have it. He sort of counts as a SHOCK EARLY BOOT, but he was kind of lucky to survive the last couple of weeks, so really he was just unlucky that he went out on a week where he actually danced quite well. The perils of the mid-table position… I very much enjoyed, by the way, him telling us all that he accepted his defeat “with grace”. As someone on Twitter rightly pointed out, if you tell people you’re doing something “with grace” you AUTOMATICALLY AREN’T. It’s like telling people you’re funny. If you have to tell them… (please take note, Van Outen). He was also profoundly pouty on BBC Breakfast this morning, falling into the “it’s just so hard when every comment is negative” trap, despite claiming on Sunday night that the judges were the experts. I would have missed you, Colin. Now I won’t.
(Couple of Kristina bonus moments this week, though. Did you know she and Pasha have known each other since they were kids? And in the behind-the-scenes stuff from Saturday, she cracked me up with a brilliant look to camera when she told Nicky Westlife everything about her was entirely real. I hope you get a good partner next year, Kristina. I kind of want you to win.)
Nicky and Karen
YAWN.
Fern and Artem and Artem’s chest
Shameless. Worked though, so who am I to criticise? Time for Fern to go home, though. A samba would probably do it, but the producers won’t go there yet.
Michael and Natalie
Good stuff, Vaughan. Perfectly nice foxtrot, nothing to get excited about, but that was more than enough to keep him safe this week. He’s got a salsa next week, apparently, which is going to be HORRIBLE, but I think there’s a distinct prospect that he’s built enough support through two weeks of TRIUMPH and BREAKTHROUGH, not to mention sheer hard work, which the British public loves, that he might just survive it, as long as he looks like he’s trying and is generally good-humoured about it. God, even as I’m typing this though, I’m not sure I’m right. Vaughan. Salsa. Natalie’s skirt-flinging misdirection is going to be insane, isn’t it?
Dani and Vincent
I slightly hate the producers for this massively obvious piece of scripting (Dani’s doing well, but not that well, she’s a tiny little person partnered with a tiny little person, we need to give her a breakthrough week so let’s give her the JIVE) but this really was fab. It felt really 1950s, with a bit of swing thrown in with the jive, which made it miles more interesting than most jives you see on the show. I don’t think it was quite up there with my favourites (Alesha (always overshadowed by her cha cha, but really good fun), Saint Jill obviously, Louisa) but it was the most enjoyable dance of the whole evening, and it made me happy.
(I am always haunted, by the way, by the Jive That Should Have Been, from Ramps and Karen. She, a jive world champion, went on and on all week about how jaw-dropping it was going to be. And then she made it really difficult and Ramps lost the beat, and it made me sad.)
Not much change in the main contenders and, let’s be honest, there really isn’t going to be, so let’s busy ourselves with considering who’s out next. I think it’s probably between Richard, Fern and Victoria, possibly with Vaughan in amongst it as well, and it will all depend on which dances they have. Floaty ballroom will save Victoria, Latin might sink Fern or Vaughan, and Richard needs a personality dance to get him through… See you next week!
Tuesday, 6 November 2012
Friday, 2 November 2012
Depressing predictability
Here's the list of dances this week on Strictly, everyone:
Colin & Kristina – Foxtrot to ‘Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive’ by Aretha Franklin
Dani & Vincent – Jive to ‘Dance With Me Tonight’ by Olly Murs
Denise & James - Viennese Waltz to ‘At Last’ by Etta James
Fern & Artem – Paso Doble to ‘Espana Cani’ by Ross Mitchell Orchestra
Kimberley & Pasha – Salsa to ‘Naughty Girl’ by Beyonce
Lisa & Robin – Tango to ‘Let’s Stick Together’ by Bryan Ferry
Louis & Flavia – Samba to ‘La Bomba’ by Ricky Martin
Michael & Natalie - Foxtrot to ‘(I Get the) Sweetest Feeling’ by Jackie Wilson
Nicky & Karen – Rumba to ‘I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing’ by Aerosmith
Richard & Erin – Foxtrot to ‘Big Spender’ by Shirley Bassey
Victoria & Brendan – Samba to ‘It’s Not Unusual’ by Tom Jones
Now, I don't want to say I told you so (this is a lie) but in Monday's StrictlyChat, I said a) Tango for Lisa and b) Foxtrot/Smooth for Colin. Oh, SHOW! WHY SO PREDICTABLE???
Other things on this list that were insanely predictable and that I therefore wish I had predicted just to prove it: more ballroom for Michael after last week's renaissance and a waltz for Denise to wipe away the memory of that horrible cha cha.
Two further thoughts:
- I feel dirty already at the thought of Nicky and Karen's rumba. Might make a cup of tea at that point.
- Fern and Artem for the chop. No way she survives the paso. NO WAY.
Colin & Kristina – Foxtrot to ‘Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive’ by Aretha Franklin
Dani & Vincent – Jive to ‘Dance With Me Tonight’ by Olly Murs
Denise & James - Viennese Waltz to ‘At Last’ by Etta James
Fern & Artem – Paso Doble to ‘Espana Cani’ by Ross Mitchell Orchestra
Kimberley & Pasha – Salsa to ‘Naughty Girl’ by Beyonce
Lisa & Robin – Tango to ‘Let’s Stick Together’ by Bryan Ferry
Louis & Flavia – Samba to ‘La Bomba’ by Ricky Martin
Michael & Natalie - Foxtrot to ‘(I Get the) Sweetest Feeling’ by Jackie Wilson
Nicky & Karen – Rumba to ‘I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing’ by Aerosmith
Richard & Erin – Foxtrot to ‘Big Spender’ by Shirley Bassey
Victoria & Brendan – Samba to ‘It’s Not Unusual’ by Tom Jones
Now, I don't want to say I told you so (this is a lie) but in Monday's StrictlyChat, I said a) Tango for Lisa and b) Foxtrot/Smooth for Colin. Oh, SHOW! WHY SO PREDICTABLE???
Other things on this list that were insanely predictable and that I therefore wish I had predicted just to prove it: more ballroom for Michael after last week's renaissance and a waltz for Denise to wipe away the memory of that horrible cha cha.
Two further thoughts:
- I feel dirty already at the thought of Nicky and Karen's rumba. Might make a cup of tea at that point.
- Fern and Artem for the chop. No way she survives the paso. NO WAY.
Monday, 29 October 2012
StrictlyChat, Week 4, in which I love Pasha again some more a lot but am mostly otherwise bored and cross
Shall we do some StrictlyChat, you guys? Weird experience this week. With the exception of about three dances, my overwhelming feeling was one of extreme boredom. Extreme. But then when they did the recap of the dances, I kept thinking, “Oh I liked that one. And that one. And that one.” So why was I so bored? It’s often a risk this early in the series – there’s too much rubbish still around and the judging is often painfully repetitive. But this was something more. I’ve always quite enjoyed Halloween week previously, despite the gimmicks, but we’ve only just had Hollywood week, so did we need another theme week? Couldn’t it just be Here is Some Dancing Week? I know they do this on Dancing with the Stars, but we are not Americans. We don’t need a theme every week. We will literally cope.
Anyway, here are my thoughts. A bit of change-around from last week, just so you know. (Not about everything. I still hate James Jordan. And in other news, the earth is still on its axis.)
Group Dance
You know the bit where they actually did Thriller and Pasha was at the front being awesome at it? They should have just done that.
Dani and Vincent
Quite liked this. I like them as a couple and the costumes were excellent and her feet move like the clappers. Her short arms freak me out a bit – is that wrong? But this is one of the dances this week that I should have loved and in fact just bored me. Possibly you just can’t make a cha cha interesting by year 10 of a show. Can’t blame Vincent for that.
Richard and Erin
Erin busts out another mental paso. Nothing will ever match Austin Healey, and obvs Richard wasn’t trying to do so, but I love that even with someone with much less dance talent than Austin, Erin just goes bananas. I’m not saying it wasn’t a bit crap, but full marks for gusto. (I was still bored though.) I really like Richard, mind you. He has totally figured out how to get himself to the second half of the series – be likeable and humble and stuff, but STILL TRY TO DANCE and look like you give a shit. Hearts and minds, people. Hearts and minds.
(Quick aside, speaking of being bored, to say that I honestly never thought I would miss Alesha on the judging panel, but the truth is that Darcey is sucking the life out of things. Alesha talked rubbish and overscored everyone and never quite got it right, but at least she was a laugh. FIX IT, SHOW.)
Lisa and Robin
Hmmm. I enjoyed it, don’t get me wrong, but sloppy doesn’t even begin to cover it. I wonder if Robin didn’t overreach himself a bit on the choreography front this week – Lisa really couldn’t keep up. The real problem, though, is that it felt like we were seeing the same dance three weeks in a row and the judge and public backlash was almost tangible. (My other problem here was that the styling just made me think: GROTBAGS. I’m not proud of it.) She’s going to have to have ballroom next week, surely, and she’s got some ground to make up. I don’t seriously think she’s in trouble yet, but next week will surely see at least one female celeb in the bottom two so she needs to do something a bit different to keep people interested. I think the producers want to keep her around for a bit, though, so if they have to give her ballroom I bet it’s a tango. Also, my worries that she is this year’s Russell Grant have not gone away – we know she can lift you, Robin, we know. Ha ha. Move on.
Sid and Ola
What’s to say here, really? Ola couldn’t train all week and turned up for the live show looking as though she couldn’t give less of a toss, and really, when your mum’s ill and Random Iveta choreographed your dance and your partner is Sid who always looks like he couldn’t give a toss until he gets criticised and then looks TOTES WOUNDED, looking like you couldn’t give less of a toss is basically inevitable. Anyway, they wore beige, danced beige, looked beige during the comments and were then eliminated. Beigely. Bye Sid. I won’t miss you.
(Random Iveta has now already killed two celebs this series. Anyone want to club together to get James Jordan a holiday and give Iveta to Denise for a week?)
(Strike that. It won’t work. She’ll get Ian Waite and then I’ll be forced to like her for a bit.)
Nicky and Karen
BORING.
Fern and Artem
Christ, watching this whole section of the show again is bloody torture. Was this the most staid, tedious American Smooth in history? Artem can’t wait to be booted off, you can see it in his eyes. Whither your crazy Black Swan choreo now, Artem? It’s dead, along with your enthusiasm. Fern for the bottom two next week, you guys. Fern and Colin, unless he busts out some masterful ballroom. And Fern to go home. She has to be the first lady out this year, or there ain’t no justice in the world.
(Edited to add: This should have said the first lady other than Jerry. Oops. Was I foxed by her having a man's name? Or had I blocked out her very existence? You decide.)
Denise and James
I thought this was a horrid, trashy little cha cha that was unpleasant to watch. She is not managing to come across as likeable at all and I stand by last week’s view that the only way she is making it to the final rounds is through the judges saving her. I am looking forward to her being in the bottom two with Pendletears one week, just so I can imagine the producers’ heads exploding. Also (Technical Comment Klaxon) her heels were much too high and her balance was off the whole time. DULL.
Michael and Natalie
Hurrah hurrah HURRAH! This was so good and so fun and it made the whole evening worthwhile. Bravo Michael Vaughan. Now, I don’t want to take all the credit (spot the deliberate lie) but I do just want to remind you all that my advice to Michael last week was: Work hard, be humble, be nice to Natalie. Combine that with Natalie’s usual stellar choreography work (she seriously works the accents in the music like nobody else) and Michael being in hold and not having to fake hip action and having naturally good posture, and this is what you get. He probably only has a few more weeks in him, but we’ll always have Halloween week, Michael. Amazing stuff.
Victoria and Brendan
No Pendletears this week, and for this small mercy I am grateful, but I just didn’t care. Not one little tiny bit. If she’s not crying, she’s entirely blank. DULL
Colin and Kristina
What an unbelievable disappointment. He was absolutely crap and she was overdancing it like mad in desperate compensation, which just made him look even worse. In some ways he was unlucky it wasn’t Fern in the bottom two instead of him, but Fern has a fan base while Colin (because he WASN’T ACTUALLY JAMES BOND) does not. I’m assuming he’ll have an American Smooth or a Foxtrot or something next week. Or he will if the producers care about keeping him in and frankly, at this stage, I am not sure why they would.
Louis and Flavia
One or both of them is going to have to get knocked down by a bus to lose it at this point, I am beginning to think. This was another really, really good night for these two – I mean, obviously the dancing was excellent, but what I loved was that Louis actually did all the character stuff as well, which is what is lifting him from Finalist to Victor territory. We might still have some wobbles along the way – he’ll have a week when he’s tired and gets a bit crotchety, and I suspect one or two of the Latin dances might not bring out the best in him – but Flavia’s choreography usually stands up against allcomers until she gets into showdance territory, so I know where my money’s going. Mind you, if they get into a Showmance, things could be different. The Great British Public has put up with it twice from Flavia – third time could be very unlucky…
Kimberly and Pasha
You guys, I love Kimberly and Pasha. She is definitely the best Girl Aloud (though I do just want to say: Kimberly, no need to show us your midriff every week, we know the Tabz gave you a hard time about being the fattest one in the group but a) the rest were all unattractive Skinny Minnies and you are not and b) you lost a crapload of weight and we all know about it, you don’t need to show us every week) and though technically she’s not as good as Louis yet, her placing and shaping in this paso was amazing. Pasha’s choreography is really good too – he’s like Natalie in that he finds every accent in the music, which automatically makes his celeb look a minimum of three times better than she actually is (not to mention making a routine easier to dance). Loved it. Even though (or maybe because) Pasha looked a bit Teen Wolf.
My views about the top four remain the same:
Anyway, here are my thoughts. A bit of change-around from last week, just so you know. (Not about everything. I still hate James Jordan. And in other news, the earth is still on its axis.)
Group Dance
You know the bit where they actually did Thriller and Pasha was at the front being awesome at it? They should have just done that.
Dani and Vincent
Quite liked this. I like them as a couple and the costumes were excellent and her feet move like the clappers. Her short arms freak me out a bit – is that wrong? But this is one of the dances this week that I should have loved and in fact just bored me. Possibly you just can’t make a cha cha interesting by year 10 of a show. Can’t blame Vincent for that.
Richard and Erin
Erin busts out another mental paso. Nothing will ever match Austin Healey, and obvs Richard wasn’t trying to do so, but I love that even with someone with much less dance talent than Austin, Erin just goes bananas. I’m not saying it wasn’t a bit crap, but full marks for gusto. (I was still bored though.) I really like Richard, mind you. He has totally figured out how to get himself to the second half of the series – be likeable and humble and stuff, but STILL TRY TO DANCE and look like you give a shit. Hearts and minds, people. Hearts and minds.
(Quick aside, speaking of being bored, to say that I honestly never thought I would miss Alesha on the judging panel, but the truth is that Darcey is sucking the life out of things. Alesha talked rubbish and overscored everyone and never quite got it right, but at least she was a laugh. FIX IT, SHOW.)
Lisa and Robin
Hmmm. I enjoyed it, don’t get me wrong, but sloppy doesn’t even begin to cover it. I wonder if Robin didn’t overreach himself a bit on the choreography front this week – Lisa really couldn’t keep up. The real problem, though, is that it felt like we were seeing the same dance three weeks in a row and the judge and public backlash was almost tangible. (My other problem here was that the styling just made me think: GROTBAGS. I’m not proud of it.) She’s going to have to have ballroom next week, surely, and she’s got some ground to make up. I don’t seriously think she’s in trouble yet, but next week will surely see at least one female celeb in the bottom two so she needs to do something a bit different to keep people interested. I think the producers want to keep her around for a bit, though, so if they have to give her ballroom I bet it’s a tango. Also, my worries that she is this year’s Russell Grant have not gone away – we know she can lift you, Robin, we know. Ha ha. Move on.
Sid and Ola
What’s to say here, really? Ola couldn’t train all week and turned up for the live show looking as though she couldn’t give less of a toss, and really, when your mum’s ill and Random Iveta choreographed your dance and your partner is Sid who always looks like he couldn’t give a toss until he gets criticised and then looks TOTES WOUNDED, looking like you couldn’t give less of a toss is basically inevitable. Anyway, they wore beige, danced beige, looked beige during the comments and were then eliminated. Beigely. Bye Sid. I won’t miss you.
(Random Iveta has now already killed two celebs this series. Anyone want to club together to get James Jordan a holiday and give Iveta to Denise for a week?)
(Strike that. It won’t work. She’ll get Ian Waite and then I’ll be forced to like her for a bit.)
Nicky and Karen
BORING.
Fern and Artem
Christ, watching this whole section of the show again is bloody torture. Was this the most staid, tedious American Smooth in history? Artem can’t wait to be booted off, you can see it in his eyes. Whither your crazy Black Swan choreo now, Artem? It’s dead, along with your enthusiasm. Fern for the bottom two next week, you guys. Fern and Colin, unless he busts out some masterful ballroom. And Fern to go home. She has to be the first lady out this year, or there ain’t no justice in the world.
(Edited to add: This should have said the first lady other than Jerry. Oops. Was I foxed by her having a man's name? Or had I blocked out her very existence? You decide.)
Denise and James
I thought this was a horrid, trashy little cha cha that was unpleasant to watch. She is not managing to come across as likeable at all and I stand by last week’s view that the only way she is making it to the final rounds is through the judges saving her. I am looking forward to her being in the bottom two with Pendletears one week, just so I can imagine the producers’ heads exploding. Also (Technical Comment Klaxon) her heels were much too high and her balance was off the whole time. DULL.
Michael and Natalie
Hurrah hurrah HURRAH! This was so good and so fun and it made the whole evening worthwhile. Bravo Michael Vaughan. Now, I don’t want to take all the credit (spot the deliberate lie) but I do just want to remind you all that my advice to Michael last week was: Work hard, be humble, be nice to Natalie. Combine that with Natalie’s usual stellar choreography work (she seriously works the accents in the music like nobody else) and Michael being in hold and not having to fake hip action and having naturally good posture, and this is what you get. He probably only has a few more weeks in him, but we’ll always have Halloween week, Michael. Amazing stuff.
Victoria and Brendan
No Pendletears this week, and for this small mercy I am grateful, but I just didn’t care. Not one little tiny bit. If she’s not crying, she’s entirely blank. DULL
Colin and Kristina
What an unbelievable disappointment. He was absolutely crap and she was overdancing it like mad in desperate compensation, which just made him look even worse. In some ways he was unlucky it wasn’t Fern in the bottom two instead of him, but Fern has a fan base while Colin (because he WASN’T ACTUALLY JAMES BOND) does not. I’m assuming he’ll have an American Smooth or a Foxtrot or something next week. Or he will if the producers care about keeping him in and frankly, at this stage, I am not sure why they would.
Louis and Flavia
One or both of them is going to have to get knocked down by a bus to lose it at this point, I am beginning to think. This was another really, really good night for these two – I mean, obviously the dancing was excellent, but what I loved was that Louis actually did all the character stuff as well, which is what is lifting him from Finalist to Victor territory. We might still have some wobbles along the way – he’ll have a week when he’s tired and gets a bit crotchety, and I suspect one or two of the Latin dances might not bring out the best in him – but Flavia’s choreography usually stands up against allcomers until she gets into showdance territory, so I know where my money’s going. Mind you, if they get into a Showmance, things could be different. The Great British Public has put up with it twice from Flavia – third time could be very unlucky…
Kimberly and Pasha
You guys, I love Kimberly and Pasha. She is definitely the best Girl Aloud (though I do just want to say: Kimberly, no need to show us your midriff every week, we know the Tabz gave you a hard time about being the fattest one in the group but a) the rest were all unattractive Skinny Minnies and you are not and b) you lost a crapload of weight and we all know about it, you don’t need to show us every week) and though technically she’s not as good as Louis yet, her placing and shaping in this paso was amazing. Pasha’s choreography is really good too – he’s like Natalie in that he finds every accent in the music, which automatically makes his celeb look a minimum of three times better than she actually is (not to mention making a routine easier to dance). Loved it. Even though (or maybe because) Pasha looked a bit Teen Wolf.
My views about the top four remain the same:
- Louis and Flavia
- Kimberley and Pasha
- Dani and Vincent
- Denise and James (ugh)
Tuesday, 23 October 2012
Let's talk about Strictly, yeah? Yes? OK?
This is not a recap, you guys. I can’t do those. They’re too difficult and I’d have to watch the bits with Bruce and Tess, and to be honest, why would you read my recaps when these guys and especially this guy do it so much better?
These are more like mutterings. Chunterings. Overthinkings. They’re going on the blog because I think I have exhausted even my most loyal other Strictly devotees with my theories and storylines and they’ve got to go somewhere. My brain needs to be cleared. My mind must be tidied.
So, my thoughts on the series so far with reference to specific couples and to specific dances where I can remember them, which basically means this week. Are we calling it Week 2? Week 3? I hate it when they don’t do an elimination in Week 1, it messes with my terminology, as well as letting cannon fodder needlessly off the hook. Let’s call it week 3, shall we?
Fern and Artem
Does anyone care? I don’t care. I don’t think the producers care either. They can’t give her an elegant older lady storyline because she’s not old enough and they had Jerry Hall for that, they can’t give her a weight loss storyline because she’s already done it in real life, they can’t give her a showmance even though it’s Artem, and they can’t give her the ITV morning presenter who can’t dance storyline because of Richard Arnold (though stand by for further thoughts on this) and also because she’s not that awful, though there was no Charleston in that Charleston, even from Artem. In conclusion, there will be no caring about Fern, and she’ll be out in a few weeks.
Victoria and Brendan
I was totally over Victoria way before the show even started, because the crying and the “I’m so competitive and it’s SO HARD not to be the best in the world at something” crap was always going to be too painful. Brendan looked so happy to get her as a partner and I just wanted to give him a hug and say, “Better luck next year, sunshine,” because I knew it was all going to go to utter crap. There were a number of ways this could go: Gabby Logan over-competitive and unpleasant; Tom Chambers have I mentioned that I’m in LOVE and there’s my FIANCE and isn’t it ROMANTIC; or Lisa Snowdon weepy insecure bullshit. Right now we’re headed for Snowdon with a sprinkling of Logan, with an added measure of overscoring because the producers are bricking it. I say a week 6 boot when the rest of the British public finally wakes up to the fact that an Olympic gold medal doesn’t automatically make you likeable or watchable.
(As a quick aside, is anyone else surprised Greg Rutherford isn’t doing this series? Possibly he is saving himself for Celebrity Great British Bake-Off. Do they do that yet?)
Michael and Natalie (can’t call her Nat, sorry. She could take my life with a glare. You don’t abbreviate someone like that)
I have strong feelings about Michael Vaughan, but most of them relate to his sports commentary rather than to his current Strictly stint. The problem with Vaughan is that he is trying so damned hard to be a Personality on Test Match Special and elsewhere that he is losing everything that in his early days of commentary made him so charming. Like being actually good at commentary, for example. And it’s all crossing over into Strictly as well, as he tries and tries to bust out funny anecdotes and one-liners and ignores his partner to do it, which makes him look crass and unlikeable. And his rubbish dancing means he only has a week or two of survival in him if he doesn’t try something else. Vaughan – you are not Tuffers. You are not Goughie. Natural, wacky charm is not in your wheelhouse. Work hard, be humble, be nice to Natalie and you might, MIGHT, make it to week 6.
Jerry and Anton
Jerry was always going to be toast in week 2 unless Anton could find a gimmick, because Jerry was always more Stephanie Beacham than Cherie Lunghi. Turns out even Anton has limits. Buh-bye, Jerry.
Sid and Ola
There is no greater pro dancer than Ola at making us vote for slightly ropey celebs. Chris Hollins won Strictly through the Power of the Pivot and his and Ola’s utter likeability throughout his series (well, that and the fact that it was probably the least talented and least recognisable Strictly cast ever). Hearts and Minds, that’s what Ola’s good at. She’s giving it a good go with Sid, I’ll give her that. Week 3 and she’s already busting out the lace catsuit, which gives significant insight into how rehearsals are going. Sadly he doesn’t have Hollins’ likeability or Savage’s bravado, so their only hope is to manufacture a Letitia Dean-style needy much-loved soap star turns from ugly duckling to swan situation. Ola’s fan-base might keep him in for a while, but I think the worm has turned on both Jordans, to be honest. Though it is possible that the worm is only me.
Pasha and Kimberly
I love Pasha. This is well-known. And most of all, I love a Pasha quickstep, so this was a good week for me. And obviously, and perhaps more importantly, for him and Kimberly. Kimberly ought to be a ringer, but she’s actually doing a very good job of not seeming like one. That doesn’t sound like a compliment, but I promise you it is. I think she’ll get to the final, provided Pasha can keep making her interesting, which she doesn’t do a particularly good job of on her own.
Denise and James
Dull. Dull dull dull. My hate for the male Jordan is well-documented – I don’t care how much the show tries to rehabilitate him with decent partners and comedy VTs, I think he’s unpleasant and a bit tacky and I hope he never wins. People are worried that he and Denise will win. They shouldn’t be. She is quite obviously the best, but the biggest ringer hasn’t won since series 2, because even though Saint Jill of Halfpenny was amazing, people only really let her win because it was only series 2 and we weren’t quite as alive to all the ringer-ness stuff back then. If it was nowadays it would be Denise Lewis all the way (except I’ve gone off her too, but that’s another story, and it’s only really because she was crap on the Olympics and I’ll like her again as soon as I watch this quickstep). The only other real ringer who has ever won was Tom Chambers, and that’s because there was a bigger ringer in the series (Rachel Stevens) so he was out-rung. Denise will be in the final because the dance-off will make it so, but she is going to have to bust out some serious storylines to get us voting for her because their “cheekiness” isn’t going to do it. Reality show love with Lee Mead? Being a mum and how hard it is to dance after that? Not very compelling, is it…
(Another aside: does anyone remember any of Strictly’s foxtrots? Any of them? I like to watch them, but they’re not terribly memorable. The only one leaping to mind is Tom and Camilla’s and that’s because they danced to one of my favourite Dolly Parton songs, so really it’s Dolly I’m remembering. Dolly, and Camilla’s rictus grin.)
Colin and Kristina
OH MY GOD HE NEVER BLOODY PLAYED JAMES BOND HE’S AN ACTOR WHO WAS IN, LIKE, ONE JAMES BOND FILM NOT AS JAMES BOND AND THEN MAINLY IS IN PERFECTLY NORMAL BRITISH TV SHOWS.
GOD.
Other than that, I am totally a fan and I reckon he might be a quarter-finalist at least.
Richard and Erin
ITV daytime TV presenter. He’s not bad, so he can’t go full Andrew Castle. But I fear the show is trying to make him Russell Grant. To be clear, I did not buy into the Russell Grant comedy crap any more than I bought into the Widdy-LOLZ. Please, please do not go down this route with poor Richard Arnold as well, show. I can’t bear it.
Dani and Vincent
They are going to go to the semis at least, these two, that’s what I reckon. She’s more Louisa Lytton than she is Rachel Stevens, which is good news for likeability and for memorability. Vincent deserves a win. Right now, I am on Team Them.
Lisa and Robin
I was a bit worried when this partnership got announced because I was concerned that Robin was just becoming a repository for the female dancer most in need of a confidence boost in life as well as in dance and Robin is totally your Gay Best Friend who Gives The BEST Hugs. Turns out Lisa is well cool and can dance like I don’t know what. I feel this might get a bit Russell Grant as well if we’re not careful – the jive was even camper than their Cha Cha, and I didn’t think that was physically possible – but she’s better than Russell ever was and dances with all the joy that he had, so I think they’ll be sticking around for a while.
Nicky and Karen
What an anonymous pair. They’ve done the new girl a favour and given her what they must have thought would have been a good partner with a high profile, giving her a chance to build a fanbase (even though I STILL don’t know why we needed a new dancer – I miss Katya and can only assume she was a ruddy nightmare backstage because how can this be better). Unfortunately, he is the least interesting man in Westlife (let’s just think about that for a moment – the least interesting man in WESTLIFE) and her only distinguishing characteristics at the moment are being a bit overly sexual with every dance move and looking exactly like Nicole Scherzinger. Only chance of survival beyond the next few weeks is some major VT and studio appearances from the recognisable ones from Westlife and probably an American Smooth to Flying Without Wings (because they can do lifts in that one, see? So she’d be flying? Without wings? Yeah?)
Louis and Flavia
Long-time fan of Flavia. Long-time fan of Louis Smith. I was worried this might be an “I’m super-competitive” storyline, and there’s definitely a bit of this going on, but he’s unlikely to be punished for it because he’s a man and being super-competitive makes him More of a Man rather than making him an Ice Queen Bitch like that Gabby Logan that time. But actually I think he might be more Ramps. He’s not super-rowdy in his VTs, he’s a sportsman who can move his hips, and the Latin dances totally bring him out of his shell. Flavia is overdue a win as much as Vincent is, and provided Louis busts out some serious ballroom, keeps doing amazing lifts, doesn’t bang on about his gold medal too much and smiles nicely for the ladies at home, this could be her year.
So there we have it. My couples for the later rounds are:
- Flavia and Louis
- Dani and Vincent
- Pasha and Kimberly
- Denise and James (but not because I like them. In case I wasn’t clear.) (I was probably clear)
- Colin and Kristina
- Lisa and Robin
Major bet-hedging going on here, but I think the top four here are obvious (as they usually are) and the next couple of places are still up for grabs… See you next week!
These are more like mutterings. Chunterings. Overthinkings. They’re going on the blog because I think I have exhausted even my most loyal other Strictly devotees with my theories and storylines and they’ve got to go somewhere. My brain needs to be cleared. My mind must be tidied.
So, my thoughts on the series so far with reference to specific couples and to specific dances where I can remember them, which basically means this week. Are we calling it Week 2? Week 3? I hate it when they don’t do an elimination in Week 1, it messes with my terminology, as well as letting cannon fodder needlessly off the hook. Let’s call it week 3, shall we?
Fern and Artem
Does anyone care? I don’t care. I don’t think the producers care either. They can’t give her an elegant older lady storyline because she’s not old enough and they had Jerry Hall for that, they can’t give her a weight loss storyline because she’s already done it in real life, they can’t give her a showmance even though it’s Artem, and they can’t give her the ITV morning presenter who can’t dance storyline because of Richard Arnold (though stand by for further thoughts on this) and also because she’s not that awful, though there was no Charleston in that Charleston, even from Artem. In conclusion, there will be no caring about Fern, and she’ll be out in a few weeks.
Victoria and Brendan
I was totally over Victoria way before the show even started, because the crying and the “I’m so competitive and it’s SO HARD not to be the best in the world at something” crap was always going to be too painful. Brendan looked so happy to get her as a partner and I just wanted to give him a hug and say, “Better luck next year, sunshine,” because I knew it was all going to go to utter crap. There were a number of ways this could go: Gabby Logan over-competitive and unpleasant; Tom Chambers have I mentioned that I’m in LOVE and there’s my FIANCE and isn’t it ROMANTIC; or Lisa Snowdon weepy insecure bullshit. Right now we’re headed for Snowdon with a sprinkling of Logan, with an added measure of overscoring because the producers are bricking it. I say a week 6 boot when the rest of the British public finally wakes up to the fact that an Olympic gold medal doesn’t automatically make you likeable or watchable.
(As a quick aside, is anyone else surprised Greg Rutherford isn’t doing this series? Possibly he is saving himself for Celebrity Great British Bake-Off. Do they do that yet?)
Michael and Natalie (can’t call her Nat, sorry. She could take my life with a glare. You don’t abbreviate someone like that)
I have strong feelings about Michael Vaughan, but most of them relate to his sports commentary rather than to his current Strictly stint. The problem with Vaughan is that he is trying so damned hard to be a Personality on Test Match Special and elsewhere that he is losing everything that in his early days of commentary made him so charming. Like being actually good at commentary, for example. And it’s all crossing over into Strictly as well, as he tries and tries to bust out funny anecdotes and one-liners and ignores his partner to do it, which makes him look crass and unlikeable. And his rubbish dancing means he only has a week or two of survival in him if he doesn’t try something else. Vaughan – you are not Tuffers. You are not Goughie. Natural, wacky charm is not in your wheelhouse. Work hard, be humble, be nice to Natalie and you might, MIGHT, make it to week 6.
Jerry and Anton
Jerry was always going to be toast in week 2 unless Anton could find a gimmick, because Jerry was always more Stephanie Beacham than Cherie Lunghi. Turns out even Anton has limits. Buh-bye, Jerry.
Sid and Ola
There is no greater pro dancer than Ola at making us vote for slightly ropey celebs. Chris Hollins won Strictly through the Power of the Pivot and his and Ola’s utter likeability throughout his series (well, that and the fact that it was probably the least talented and least recognisable Strictly cast ever). Hearts and Minds, that’s what Ola’s good at. She’s giving it a good go with Sid, I’ll give her that. Week 3 and she’s already busting out the lace catsuit, which gives significant insight into how rehearsals are going. Sadly he doesn’t have Hollins’ likeability or Savage’s bravado, so their only hope is to manufacture a Letitia Dean-style needy much-loved soap star turns from ugly duckling to swan situation. Ola’s fan-base might keep him in for a while, but I think the worm has turned on both Jordans, to be honest. Though it is possible that the worm is only me.
Pasha and Kimberly
I love Pasha. This is well-known. And most of all, I love a Pasha quickstep, so this was a good week for me. And obviously, and perhaps more importantly, for him and Kimberly. Kimberly ought to be a ringer, but she’s actually doing a very good job of not seeming like one. That doesn’t sound like a compliment, but I promise you it is. I think she’ll get to the final, provided Pasha can keep making her interesting, which she doesn’t do a particularly good job of on her own.
Denise and James
Dull. Dull dull dull. My hate for the male Jordan is well-documented – I don’t care how much the show tries to rehabilitate him with decent partners and comedy VTs, I think he’s unpleasant and a bit tacky and I hope he never wins. People are worried that he and Denise will win. They shouldn’t be. She is quite obviously the best, but the biggest ringer hasn’t won since series 2, because even though Saint Jill of Halfpenny was amazing, people only really let her win because it was only series 2 and we weren’t quite as alive to all the ringer-ness stuff back then. If it was nowadays it would be Denise Lewis all the way (except I’ve gone off her too, but that’s another story, and it’s only really because she was crap on the Olympics and I’ll like her again as soon as I watch this quickstep). The only other real ringer who has ever won was Tom Chambers, and that’s because there was a bigger ringer in the series (Rachel Stevens) so he was out-rung. Denise will be in the final because the dance-off will make it so, but she is going to have to bust out some serious storylines to get us voting for her because their “cheekiness” isn’t going to do it. Reality show love with Lee Mead? Being a mum and how hard it is to dance after that? Not very compelling, is it…
(Another aside: does anyone remember any of Strictly’s foxtrots? Any of them? I like to watch them, but they’re not terribly memorable. The only one leaping to mind is Tom and Camilla’s and that’s because they danced to one of my favourite Dolly Parton songs, so really it’s Dolly I’m remembering. Dolly, and Camilla’s rictus grin.)
Colin and Kristina
OH MY GOD HE NEVER BLOODY PLAYED JAMES BOND HE’S AN ACTOR WHO WAS IN, LIKE, ONE JAMES BOND FILM NOT AS JAMES BOND AND THEN MAINLY IS IN PERFECTLY NORMAL BRITISH TV SHOWS.
GOD.
Other than that, I am totally a fan and I reckon he might be a quarter-finalist at least.
Richard and Erin
ITV daytime TV presenter. He’s not bad, so he can’t go full Andrew Castle. But I fear the show is trying to make him Russell Grant. To be clear, I did not buy into the Russell Grant comedy crap any more than I bought into the Widdy-LOLZ. Please, please do not go down this route with poor Richard Arnold as well, show. I can’t bear it.
Dani and Vincent
They are going to go to the semis at least, these two, that’s what I reckon. She’s more Louisa Lytton than she is Rachel Stevens, which is good news for likeability and for memorability. Vincent deserves a win. Right now, I am on Team Them.
Lisa and Robin
I was a bit worried when this partnership got announced because I was concerned that Robin was just becoming a repository for the female dancer most in need of a confidence boost in life as well as in dance and Robin is totally your Gay Best Friend who Gives The BEST Hugs. Turns out Lisa is well cool and can dance like I don’t know what. I feel this might get a bit Russell Grant as well if we’re not careful – the jive was even camper than their Cha Cha, and I didn’t think that was physically possible – but she’s better than Russell ever was and dances with all the joy that he had, so I think they’ll be sticking around for a while.
Nicky and Karen
What an anonymous pair. They’ve done the new girl a favour and given her what they must have thought would have been a good partner with a high profile, giving her a chance to build a fanbase (even though I STILL don’t know why we needed a new dancer – I miss Katya and can only assume she was a ruddy nightmare backstage because how can this be better). Unfortunately, he is the least interesting man in Westlife (let’s just think about that for a moment – the least interesting man in WESTLIFE) and her only distinguishing characteristics at the moment are being a bit overly sexual with every dance move and looking exactly like Nicole Scherzinger. Only chance of survival beyond the next few weeks is some major VT and studio appearances from the recognisable ones from Westlife and probably an American Smooth to Flying Without Wings (because they can do lifts in that one, see? So she’d be flying? Without wings? Yeah?)
Louis and Flavia
Long-time fan of Flavia. Long-time fan of Louis Smith. I was worried this might be an “I’m super-competitive” storyline, and there’s definitely a bit of this going on, but he’s unlikely to be punished for it because he’s a man and being super-competitive makes him More of a Man rather than making him an Ice Queen Bitch like that Gabby Logan that time. But actually I think he might be more Ramps. He’s not super-rowdy in his VTs, he’s a sportsman who can move his hips, and the Latin dances totally bring him out of his shell. Flavia is overdue a win as much as Vincent is, and provided Louis busts out some serious ballroom, keeps doing amazing lifts, doesn’t bang on about his gold medal too much and smiles nicely for the ladies at home, this could be her year.
So there we have it. My couples for the later rounds are:
- Flavia and Louis
- Dani and Vincent
- Pasha and Kimberly
- Denise and James (but not because I like them. In case I wasn’t clear.) (I was probably clear)
- Colin and Kristina
- Lisa and Robin
Major bet-hedging going on here, but I think the top four here are obvious (as they usually are) and the next couple of places are still up for grabs… See you next week!
Monday, 6 August 2012
GOLD RUSH (Sorry - so tabloid of me)
Super quick check in, you guys, because I am off to the Olympic Park again for another night at the athletics, at which I expect to see precisely no British people win medals. Well, maybe Holly Bleasdale. But ultimately, I think I'll cope. And I'll cope because I was in the stadium on Saturday night to see possibly the greatest night in British athletics history.
Jessica Ennis. Pretty much in the bag before we even got into the stadium, but God love her, she finished in unbelievable style. She is amazing.
Greg Rutherford. Wait. Greg Rutherford? YEAH GREG RUTHERFORD! While all the excitement about Ennis was unfolding on the track, Greg had gone into the lead and then not just stayed there but extended it. He is amazing.
But this made us nervous. And by "us" I mean me, my Mum, and everyone else sitting around us with whom we had by this point formed a bond based on triumph and fear. We had two golds in the bag. Surely we couldn't win another. Surely. Which could only mean bad things for Mo.
Mo Farah. What a man. What a run. I thought last Wednesday that nothing would top the crowd noise at Eton Dorney. Then I went to the velodrome on Thursday. Surely nothing could top that. The sound produced on Saturday night by an emotional, incredulous crowd as Mo poured it on in that final lap was like nothing I've ever heard before nor will ever hear again. I looked around after he had won that magnificent gold and everyone around me was in a total state of shock and excitement and exhaustion. Amazing. Oh, and then we all had a big singalong. Apparently Paul McCartney was there and conducting us, but I didn't notice and I didn't need him and neither did anyone else.
I'll have more to say about the stadium itself another time (I've got a few more trips there this week, oh yes). For now, let's just bask in the glow of Jess, Greg and Mo.
Bonus occurrence: nothing to report from the athletics (other than me hauling my Mum into a surprise hug when Mo won, which made her laugh her head off), so let's backtrack to the rowing last week when I was sitting only about ten seats away from rugby hero Mick Skinner and DIDN'T ask him for a photo. I hate myself.
Bonus photos: Our golden girl and boys.
Jessica Ennis. Pretty much in the bag before we even got into the stadium, but God love her, she finished in unbelievable style. She is amazing.
Greg Rutherford. Wait. Greg Rutherford? YEAH GREG RUTHERFORD! While all the excitement about Ennis was unfolding on the track, Greg had gone into the lead and then not just stayed there but extended it. He is amazing.
But this made us nervous. And by "us" I mean me, my Mum, and everyone else sitting around us with whom we had by this point formed a bond based on triumph and fear. We had two golds in the bag. Surely we couldn't win another. Surely. Which could only mean bad things for Mo.
Mo Farah. What a man. What a run. I thought last Wednesday that nothing would top the crowd noise at Eton Dorney. Then I went to the velodrome on Thursday. Surely nothing could top that. The sound produced on Saturday night by an emotional, incredulous crowd as Mo poured it on in that final lap was like nothing I've ever heard before nor will ever hear again. I looked around after he had won that magnificent gold and everyone around me was in a total state of shock and excitement and exhaustion. Amazing. Oh, and then we all had a big singalong. Apparently Paul McCartney was there and conducting us, but I didn't notice and I didn't need him and neither did anyone else.
I'll have more to say about the stadium itself another time (I've got a few more trips there this week, oh yes). For now, let's just bask in the glow of Jess, Greg and Mo.
Bonus occurrence: nothing to report from the athletics (other than me hauling my Mum into a surprise hug when Mo won, which made her laugh her head off), so let's backtrack to the rowing last week when I was sitting only about ten seats away from rugby hero Mick Skinner and DIDN'T ask him for a photo. I hate myself.
Bonus photos: Our golden girl and boys.
Saturday, 4 August 2012
The day Britain's cyclists almost made me faint
I went to the velodrome on Thursday. It is now Saturday and I have finally just about calmed down (though this morning's rowing didn't do my heartrate OR my tear ducts any favours - Joy! Joy! No Joy! Poor poor Purchase and Hunter) so I'll try to tell you what it was like.
Firstly, it was unbelievably warm. I know they tell you this on the TV, but when you're actually in there it seriously gets a bit much. I went for the test event, but I was there on the night they messed up the climate control and let it get a bit cold, so I wasn't quite ready for this.
Secondly, the velodrome (along with every other venue) has a sort of venue TV host (at Wimbledon it's Gethin Jones, which seems a bit of a come-down for him, although I realise Blue Peter and a Strictly stint isn't exactly rock and roll) who is there to keep events moving and fill in the gaps. I am totally behind the concept of this, but the problem is that I am not very good at being exhorted. If a venue puts the word "Applause" up on a big screen, my immediate reaction is to fold my arms grumpily. There is nothing I hate more than being told to make some noise. It turns out, though, that I am very, very amused by a slow motion Mexican wave.
Thirdly, there were a stackload of worthies in. Major and minor royals, plus current and former Prime Ministers. The extreme-o-zoom on my camera got a massive workout.
Fourthly, the acoustics were once again extremely poor. When the British women's sprint team result was being investigated, all we heard was a low-key mutter from the PA. This strikes me as something that would be pretty easy to resolve. They were trying to keep us informed (not always top of sports venues' priority list, I can tell you from the experience of being a) at the Oval when Pakistan refused to come out after tea and b) the Queens' club final fiasco this year) but the echoey acoustic ensured we remained baffled for a long, long time.
Fifthly, and most importantly, it is AMAZING IN THE VELODROME. The atmosphere left every other sporting experience ever in the dust, even the GB gold medal-winning at Eton Dorney. The men's team pursuit were astonishing and their World Record got the place back on its feet after the relegation in the women's spring. And then the men's team sprint... Well, all I can say about that is that I yelled so loudly to cheer them on and then with joy at the finish that I literally nearly passed out. Fortunately for Why Miss Jones (who is at least as Olympics-obsessed as me, and to whom I owe a massive debt of thanks for the fact that I have any tickets at all), I just about managed to keep it together, but frankly it would have been worth it. An incredible, incredible afternoon.
Stadium tonight. Ennis. Mo. When I have more time, I'll tell you why the combination of the movie Scream and an interview with Seb Coe make me super-nervous for Mo. I bet you can't wait.
Bonus occurrence: this one is actually from Wednesday. While the German Men's eight were getting their medals, the German women's quad sculls were on their victory lap. The anthem started playing, so they all stood up in their boat. It was excellent.
Bonus photos: I have tons of photos of delicious cyclists, but I'll save them for another time. Instead, here's one of a man I don't know who has the best beard ever, and one of some pensive princes prior to the sprint final.
Firstly, it was unbelievably warm. I know they tell you this on the TV, but when you're actually in there it seriously gets a bit much. I went for the test event, but I was there on the night they messed up the climate control and let it get a bit cold, so I wasn't quite ready for this.
Secondly, the velodrome (along with every other venue) has a sort of venue TV host (at Wimbledon it's Gethin Jones, which seems a bit of a come-down for him, although I realise Blue Peter and a Strictly stint isn't exactly rock and roll) who is there to keep events moving and fill in the gaps. I am totally behind the concept of this, but the problem is that I am not very good at being exhorted. If a venue puts the word "Applause" up on a big screen, my immediate reaction is to fold my arms grumpily. There is nothing I hate more than being told to make some noise. It turns out, though, that I am very, very amused by a slow motion Mexican wave.
Thirdly, there were a stackload of worthies in. Major and minor royals, plus current and former Prime Ministers. The extreme-o-zoom on my camera got a massive workout.
Fourthly, the acoustics were once again extremely poor. When the British women's sprint team result was being investigated, all we heard was a low-key mutter from the PA. This strikes me as something that would be pretty easy to resolve. They were trying to keep us informed (not always top of sports venues' priority list, I can tell you from the experience of being a) at the Oval when Pakistan refused to come out after tea and b) the Queens' club final fiasco this year) but the echoey acoustic ensured we remained baffled for a long, long time.
Fifthly, and most importantly, it is AMAZING IN THE VELODROME. The atmosphere left every other sporting experience ever in the dust, even the GB gold medal-winning at Eton Dorney. The men's team pursuit were astonishing and their World Record got the place back on its feet after the relegation in the women's spring. And then the men's team sprint... Well, all I can say about that is that I yelled so loudly to cheer them on and then with joy at the finish that I literally nearly passed out. Fortunately for Why Miss Jones (who is at least as Olympics-obsessed as me, and to whom I owe a massive debt of thanks for the fact that I have any tickets at all), I just about managed to keep it together, but frankly it would have been worth it. An incredible, incredible afternoon.
Stadium tonight. Ennis. Mo. When I have more time, I'll tell you why the combination of the movie Scream and an interview with Seb Coe make me super-nervous for Mo. I bet you can't wait.
Bonus occurrence: this one is actually from Wednesday. While the German Men's eight were getting their medals, the German women's quad sculls were on their victory lap. The anthem started playing, so they all stood up in their boat. It was excellent.
Bonus photos: I have tons of photos of delicious cyclists, but I'll save them for another time. Instead, here's one of a man I don't know who has the best beard ever, and one of some pensive princes prior to the sprint final.
Thursday, 2 August 2012
The first few days
It's been a mixed bag in this first week of Olympic events (by which I mean Olympic events that I have seen, which obviously are the only ones that count). So far, I have had two trips to Eton Dorney for the rowing, two days at Wimbledon and an evening at the swimming. Overall, I have to say it has been a great experience - the venues are mostly well-organised, the volunteers are brilliantly cheerful and always keen to help and security, contrary to everyone's fears, has been both thorough and rapid.
Until yesterday, though, the atmosphere had left a little bit to be desired. I think part of the problem was that I had heightened expectations. I have been so excited about these Olympics that I thought the feeling in all these venues would be different from any other sporting event, but it didn't seem that way in the early days. It must be said though that my first event (rowing) was all heats and my second (swimming) saw a really disappointing night for the British and a Phelps-Lochte duel in the pool that in no way lived up to expectations because Lochte was totally untouchable. Plus the acoustics in the aquatic centre if you are in remote seats (we were in category C and they were proper nose-bleeds) are awful, so we didn't have much of a clue what was going on.
Then I had two days of tennis, which is sort of weird because it's a total individual rock star sport that doesn't quite seem to fit with the rest of the Games. I did see some fabulous performances, of course, including the longest Olympic tennis match in history, and as the sessions went on, the people around me in the stands who started off super-British and quiet finally responded to my relentless chatting and friendliness and became my pals for the day. One of them even bought me a coffee. That might have been to shut me up. I don't know.
But then yesterday happened. Oh, yesterday, you were brilliant. I was at Eton Dorney to see the first GB gold (amazing) and the GB bronze in the men's eight (amazing and heartbreaking) and I have never in my life been part of a crowd that was so fervent and so partisan and so generous and so happy. I cried actual tears. What a day. This is what I wanted and what I have been waiting for, and it was so very much worth the wait. Velodrome today. More excitement. Maybe more victories, and maybe more heartbreak, but I'm going to yell my head off and almost certainly cry some more.
Bonus occurrence - a proposal in the stands on Centre court at Wimbledon on Monday. It was very emotional, and almost certainly would have got a lot more attention if the chap hadn't got down on one knee seconds before the players came out for the first match.
Bonus photos - Ryan Lochte and Roger Federer looking delicious. You're welcome.
Until yesterday, though, the atmosphere had left a little bit to be desired. I think part of the problem was that I had heightened expectations. I have been so excited about these Olympics that I thought the feeling in all these venues would be different from any other sporting event, but it didn't seem that way in the early days. It must be said though that my first event (rowing) was all heats and my second (swimming) saw a really disappointing night for the British and a Phelps-Lochte duel in the pool that in no way lived up to expectations because Lochte was totally untouchable. Plus the acoustics in the aquatic centre if you are in remote seats (we were in category C and they were proper nose-bleeds) are awful, so we didn't have much of a clue what was going on.
Then I had two days of tennis, which is sort of weird because it's a total individual rock star sport that doesn't quite seem to fit with the rest of the Games. I did see some fabulous performances, of course, including the longest Olympic tennis match in history, and as the sessions went on, the people around me in the stands who started off super-British and quiet finally responded to my relentless chatting and friendliness and became my pals for the day. One of them even bought me a coffee. That might have been to shut me up. I don't know.
But then yesterday happened. Oh, yesterday, you were brilliant. I was at Eton Dorney to see the first GB gold (amazing) and the GB bronze in the men's eight (amazing and heartbreaking) and I have never in my life been part of a crowd that was so fervent and so partisan and so generous and so happy. I cried actual tears. What a day. This is what I wanted and what I have been waiting for, and it was so very much worth the wait. Velodrome today. More excitement. Maybe more victories, and maybe more heartbreak, but I'm going to yell my head off and almost certainly cry some more.
Bonus occurrence - a proposal in the stands on Centre court at Wimbledon on Monday. It was very emotional, and almost certainly would have got a lot more attention if the chap hadn't got down on one knee seconds before the players came out for the first match.
Bonus photos - Ryan Lochte and Roger Federer looking delicious. You're welcome.
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