Anyway, here are my thoughts. A bit of change-around from last week, just so you know. (Not about everything. I still hate James Jordan. And in other news, the earth is still on its axis.)
Group Dance
You know the bit where they actually did Thriller and Pasha was at the front being awesome at it? They should have just done that.
Dani and Vincent
Quite liked this. I like them as a couple and the costumes were excellent and her feet move like the clappers. Her short arms freak me out a bit – is that wrong? But this is one of the dances this week that I should have loved and in fact just bored me. Possibly you just can’t make a cha cha interesting by year 10 of a show. Can’t blame Vincent for that.
Richard and Erin
Erin busts out another mental paso. Nothing will ever match Austin Healey, and obvs Richard wasn’t trying to do so, but I love that even with someone with much less dance talent than Austin, Erin just goes bananas. I’m not saying it wasn’t a bit crap, but full marks for gusto. (I was still bored though.) I really like Richard, mind you. He has totally figured out how to get himself to the second half of the series – be likeable and humble and stuff, but STILL TRY TO DANCE and look like you give a shit. Hearts and minds, people. Hearts and minds.
(Quick aside, speaking of being bored, to say that I honestly never thought I would miss Alesha on the judging panel, but the truth is that Darcey is sucking the life out of things. Alesha talked rubbish and overscored everyone and never quite got it right, but at least she was a laugh. FIX IT, SHOW.)
Lisa and Robin
Hmmm. I enjoyed it, don’t get me wrong, but sloppy doesn’t even begin to cover it. I wonder if Robin didn’t overreach himself a bit on the choreography front this week – Lisa really couldn’t keep up. The real problem, though, is that it felt like we were seeing the same dance three weeks in a row and the judge and public backlash was almost tangible. (My other problem here was that the styling just made me think: GROTBAGS. I’m not proud of it.) She’s going to have to have ballroom next week, surely, and she’s got some ground to make up. I don’t seriously think she’s in trouble yet, but next week will surely see at least one female celeb in the bottom two so she needs to do something a bit different to keep people interested. I think the producers want to keep her around for a bit, though, so if they have to give her ballroom I bet it’s a tango. Also, my worries that she is this year’s Russell Grant have not gone away – we know she can lift you, Robin, we know. Ha ha. Move on.
Sid and Ola
What’s to say here, really? Ola couldn’t train all week and turned up for the live show looking as though she couldn’t give less of a toss, and really, when your mum’s ill and Random Iveta choreographed your dance and your partner is Sid who always looks like he couldn’t give a toss until he gets criticised and then looks TOTES WOUNDED, looking like you couldn’t give less of a toss is basically inevitable. Anyway, they wore beige, danced beige, looked beige during the comments and were then eliminated. Beigely. Bye Sid. I won’t miss you.
(Random Iveta has now already killed two celebs this series. Anyone want to club together to get James Jordan a holiday and give Iveta to Denise for a week?)
(Strike that. It won’t work. She’ll get Ian Waite and then I’ll be forced to like her for a bit.)
Nicky and Karen
BORING.
Fern and Artem
Christ, watching this whole section of the show again is bloody torture. Was this the most staid, tedious American Smooth in history? Artem can’t wait to be booted off, you can see it in his eyes. Whither your crazy Black Swan choreo now, Artem? It’s dead, along with your enthusiasm. Fern for the bottom two next week, you guys. Fern and Colin, unless he busts out some masterful ballroom. And Fern to go home. She has to be the first lady out this year, or there ain’t no justice in the world.
(Edited to add: This should have said the first lady other than Jerry. Oops. Was I foxed by her having a man's name? Or had I blocked out her very existence? You decide.)
Denise and James
I thought this was a horrid, trashy little cha cha that was unpleasant to watch. She is not managing to come across as likeable at all and I stand by last week’s view that the only way she is making it to the final rounds is through the judges saving her. I am looking forward to her being in the bottom two with Pendletears one week, just so I can imagine the producers’ heads exploding. Also (Technical Comment Klaxon) her heels were much too high and her balance was off the whole time. DULL.
Michael and Natalie
Hurrah hurrah HURRAH! This was so good and so fun and it made the whole evening worthwhile. Bravo Michael Vaughan. Now, I don’t want to take all the credit (spot the deliberate lie) but I do just want to remind you all that my advice to Michael last week was: Work hard, be humble, be nice to Natalie. Combine that with Natalie’s usual stellar choreography work (she seriously works the accents in the music like nobody else) and Michael being in hold and not having to fake hip action and having naturally good posture, and this is what you get. He probably only has a few more weeks in him, but we’ll always have Halloween week, Michael. Amazing stuff.
Victoria and Brendan
No Pendletears this week, and for this small mercy I am grateful, but I just didn’t care. Not one little tiny bit. If she’s not crying, she’s entirely blank. DULL
Colin and Kristina
What an unbelievable disappointment. He was absolutely crap and she was overdancing it like mad in desperate compensation, which just made him look even worse. In some ways he was unlucky it wasn’t Fern in the bottom two instead of him, but Fern has a fan base while Colin (because he WASN’T ACTUALLY JAMES BOND) does not. I’m assuming he’ll have an American Smooth or a Foxtrot or something next week. Or he will if the producers care about keeping him in and frankly, at this stage, I am not sure why they would.
Louis and Flavia
One or both of them is going to have to get knocked down by a bus to lose it at this point, I am beginning to think. This was another really, really good night for these two – I mean, obviously the dancing was excellent, but what I loved was that Louis actually did all the character stuff as well, which is what is lifting him from Finalist to Victor territory. We might still have some wobbles along the way – he’ll have a week when he’s tired and gets a bit crotchety, and I suspect one or two of the Latin dances might not bring out the best in him – but Flavia’s choreography usually stands up against allcomers until she gets into showdance territory, so I know where my money’s going. Mind you, if they get into a Showmance, things could be different. The Great British Public has put up with it twice from Flavia – third time could be very unlucky…
Kimberly and Pasha
You guys, I love Kimberly and Pasha. She is definitely the best Girl Aloud (though I do just want to say: Kimberly, no need to show us your midriff every week, we know the Tabz gave you a hard time about being the fattest one in the group but a) the rest were all unattractive Skinny Minnies and you are not and b) you lost a crapload of weight and we all know about it, you don’t need to show us every week) and though technically she’s not as good as Louis yet, her placing and shaping in this paso was amazing. Pasha’s choreography is really good too – he’s like Natalie in that he finds every accent in the music, which automatically makes his celeb look a minimum of three times better than she actually is (not to mention making a routine easier to dance). Loved it. Even though (or maybe because) Pasha looked a bit Teen Wolf.
My views about the top four remain the same:
- Louis and Flavia
- Kimberley and Pasha
- Dani and Vincent
- Denise and James (ugh)
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