The Torch relay and whether I thought it was cool

So, the Olympic torch rolled through my beloved hometown of Surbiton this morning. I went to see it. I mean, obviously I went to see it, I had to go and see it, it's the Olympics, I live two minutes from the route and if everything went to schedule it would only make me 10 minutes late for work, so obviously I went to see it.

Not a bad turn-out from the Big Surb. The crowds were two or three people deep along the high street, which generally only happens when there hasn't been a 71 bus along for half an hour or so. Seeing the torch itself was pretty cool (taking as read my basic issues with the torch's Nazi back story) and the young chap running with it looked both knackered and a bit overwhelmed, both of which seemed entirely plausible reactions to me. He was trying so hard to smile and not quite managing it that it made my heart hurt a bit with sympathy.

Also cool: the motorcycle outriders. They rode along super-close to the crowd but did not appear to mow anyone down or drive over any toes, and they high-fived all the kids in the front row as they went by. Neat work.

Not so cool, though: all the other stuff. The one guy doing tricks on his BMX was very good, but why was there only one guy? Why did Lloyds TSB have a branded bus and pack it full of people if they were all going to just sit there and look a bit sheepish? Why wasn't there an open top London bus? Or two? Or TEN? There should have been ten open top London buses. It's LONDON, people! Where are the London images in this torch relay for London 2012?

Finally, here is a rule that I believe the UK should live by: No Cheerleaders Ever. They're always a bit crap, and we are not a nation that responds well to being exhorted to cheer by dancers with pompoms who are always a bit cold and cross and embarrassed and mainly look like they want to be somewhere else.

The big blue bus of cheerleaders drove through Surbiton this morning, waving as enthusiastically as they could at the crowd while simultaneously making it quite clear that they were already bored rigid at 8.48am, while a man with a microphone yelled, "Come on Surbiton, make some noise!" We looked at him. He yelled again. We responded with a polite cheer and a smattering of applause. That is the suburban way. And lo, it was beautiful.