The White Guard

So, I go to the theatre a lot. Like, a lot. It costs me a small fortune. To date, I have not blogged about any of the plays/shows I have been to see. Tonight, people, that changes.

(I bet you're super-excited.)

First up - The White Guard, currently previewing at the Lyttelton at the National. It's by Mikhail Bulgakov and it's all about 1918 Kiev and a family that sees itself as Ukrainian, Russian and Tsarist, with all the terrifying complications that brought with it. An excellent fact about this show is that Stalin loved it, even though its heroes were the White Army - the reason why becomes painfully clear in the final act.

Basically, you should go to see this play. It's dark and funny and satirical and brutal. The cast has no weak links (particular mention for Anthony Calf's perfect cameo and Pip Carter, who looks probably fresh out of RADA and who I have seen in three plays at the National in each of which he has been perfect) and the sets... Well, I'm not one to get excited about sets, or I never used to be though what with going to all these plays now I notice them more, but the design of this show is spectacular.

This is the third Andrew Upton-translated Russian play I have seen at the National in the last few years. If I hear he's translating any more, I'll be first in the queue. Seriously - go and see it.

Verdict: Je dis oui, oui.

The Olympics and how I love it so

My love of the Summer Olympics is well-documented (well, it's documented), but I have been more coy about my love for the Winter ones. Mainly because I love them a bit less. But it really is only a little bit less. I know very little about any of the sports involved, so I have to turn myself into a semi-knowledgeable fan very quickly if I am going to enjoy them properly. Fortunately, I have the commitment to do so - real life goes on hold until the Olympics is over. Well, except my job - I still have to do that.

Anyway, my new grand passion as of last night and for at least the next two days until I get over the excitement is... Snowboard Cross. I watched the men's downhill ski-ing which was super and very exciting, mainly because of the crap snow and the terrible weather, and then I had my dinner and watched University Challenge (natch). And then, oh, then I discovered Snowboard Cross on BBC Three. It is one of the most mental sports I have ever seen - like the BMX racing at the Beijing Games, but crazier, faster, and on ice. I watched it all, and then I turned over to BBC2 and watched it again. It's so good I didn't care about the crap commentary, or about the fact that every time the commentator called it "Boarder Cross" my mind went straight to this song (which doesn't even have the words "border" or "cross" in it, so who the hell knows), I just watched and watched and watched.

Seriously. Watch the highlights. It's bloody brilliant.

Another reason to stay in the house

Dancing on Ice is just starting. I could fight it, but I am too weak.

Did anyone else watch So You Think You Can Dance last night? I rather enjoyed it. I mean, for a start they can all actually dance, which is nice. I'll keep watching. Here are my thoughts for those of you who might be interested.

1. The lack of "celeb" recognition factor was not in any way a problem for me until the judges' recap at the end. "I loved Blah and Blah, but Blah and Blah could be in trouble tonight," etc. It's going to take me a few weeks to know who's who and even longer to care, I suspect.

2. Having said that, I am developing a low-level crush on Alastair. He grew up on a farm and also does ballet. It's all terribly Billy Elliot.



3. Nigel Lythgoe actually speaks sense. Can we have him on Strictly? Instead of Len? I hate Len.

4. Cat Deeley can host whatever she likes. Her and Schofield. I love Schofield. Let's sack Tess and Bruce and Len and get Cat and Schofield and Nigel. Lovely.

5. All of Strictly's mad camera swoops seem to have made it in tact to this show, which is very disappointing, because this show actually has some dancing that we might like to see. Also, all routines are choreographed for a proper stage rather than a ballroom floor, so the camera swoops are unnecessary and distracting - we don't need to see this dance from the back, you fools. Sort it out, please, BBC.

6. Here is the boy who went out last night:



I think he looks like the progeny of Freddie Prinze Jr and Ray Quinn.



I am quite glad he has gone home.

Overdue

Where have I been? Lazing around, that's where I have been. I've also been watching a lot of TV, which I'll fill you in on later. In the meantime, here's a snippet I enjoyed from the So You Think You Can Dance website:

"He left school before completing his A-Levels after being offered the opportunity to understudy the role of Mr Mistoffelees in Cats in Germany – his dream job."

Dream big, my friend. Dream big.

It's Christmas!

Those of you who know me will know that I love University Challenge. Love it. Like, the hate-going-out-on-Monday-nights kind of love it. And as of this week I have a new favourite contestant. He is on the Warwick team. His name is Christopher Christmas.

My previous favourite was Martin Heighway, on the Open University team. I loved him partly for his raffish gulp of water each and every time he successfully answered a starter for 10, but mainly because when he hit the buzzer first on said starter for 10, Voiceover Man would shout with delight, "Open Heighway!" It literally (for me) never got old.

Christopher has neither a raffish style of water-drinking nor a funny punny name. But, you guys? His name is Christopher Christmas.

Sunday morning thoughts

The title of this post was meant to lull you into thinking this post might be about many different things. It isn't. You know what it's about. I almost can't wait for 19th December so that my mind might turn to different things.

1. I voted for Chris and Ola again. I seriously think I might have lost my mind. In previous years I have been secure in the knowledge that I was supporting the best dancer, even when that dancer wasn't going to win. But this year something has changed. I have become one of the other sort, the sort that votes for the couple they like rather than the couple who can dance. Why? What's changed? Is it me? Is it the show? It's me, isn't it.

2. I think Bruce was on something last night. Possibly Pro Plus.

3. Can Bette Midler please learn another song? She's been popping up on these light entertainment shows for years and she always sings The Rose or the dreaded Wind Beneath My Wings? Why? Why does she do this? What is she selling? Is it in her contract that she never has to learn a new song ever again? If so, why? Why is it in her contract? Why do people keep agreeing to the contract? So. Many. Questions.

4. Tess needs to sort her wardrobe pronto. Part of the joy of Strictly has always been checking what horror Tess is in that week and wondering who in wardrobe she has pissed off, but we seem to have added a new element to all this - Boob Area Catastrophe (BAC). Last week, poor bra choice meant a couple of boobs too many. This week, poor bra choice and slightly too low a neckline demonstrated that gravity always wins. Somebody help her.

5. Why don't I like Ricky Whittle?

6. I once sent Rhona and Alice a long e-mail about how I felt about Anton and Laila doing Latin. Basically it makes me feel upset and dirty. Thank God they've finally gone home.

Strictly terrifying

I have been trying to figure out exactly why I find Natalie Lowe, new Strictly professional, so unsettling. I mean, she and Ricky Whittle can be a bit annoying, but they're pretty good and I forgive them many transgressions because their quickstep was awesome, but she just... freaks me out. Today I finally figured it out.

Here she is in Strictly:








And here she is in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines:














Natalie for the win! Don't hurt me, please don't hurt me!